


Best Fallen Fly Friends Forever

by CaptainLeBubbles



Category: Good Omens (TV)
Genre: Fallen Angel Gabriel (Good Omens), Fluff and Crack, Friendship Bracelets, Gen, Light Angst, Loosely Connected Oneshots, Microfics, prompt fills
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-06
Updated: 2019-09-01
Packaged: 2020-08-10 04:26:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 2,634
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20129326
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CaptainLeBubbles/pseuds/CaptainLeBubbles
Summary: Beelzebub is Gabriel’s bestest friend in the whole wide world.A collection of loosely connected microfics about the friendship and eventual courtship (if I can ever get them there) between Prince of Hell Beelzebub and the newly-Fallen Prince-of-Hell-Formerly-Known-as-the-Archangel-Fucking-Gabriel.





	1. Arts and Crafts Is Popular in Hell

**Author's Note:**

> I cope with the stress of back-to-school shopping season by writing crackfic and slowly replacing all of the blood in my body with Dr. Pepper. And I’m all out of Dr. Pepper.
> 
> This is marked complete, but I may decided to just start throwing all of my Fallen Fly Friends shenanigans into this fic instead of posting a new fic for every one. We’ll see.
> 
> (I am slowly chiseling away at my other wips I promise I’m just. It’s a really stressful time for me right now.)

“Crowley?” Gabriel strode through the bookshop in search of the demon, found him in the backroom, and then stopped short and backtracked, eyes landing on the child sitting behind Aziraphale’s pointless cash register. “Hello?”

The boy did not look up from his painstaking task when he said, “Hello.” The dog lying at his heel growled, but in a friendly sort of way.

“Right.” Gabriel carried on back to the backroom, where Crowley was still waking up from his nap. There was a tartan throw wrapped around him and his glasses were sitting on top of his head. “What is the Antichrist doing here?”

Crowley shrugged. “Dunno. Ask him? Adam! What are you doing?”

“I’m making friendship bracelets for Pepper and Brian and Wensley,” came the called response, and Crowley gave Gabriel a ‘there, see’ gesture.

“He’s making friendship bracelets.”

Gabriel decided not to point out that wasn’t what he meant, and instead swaggered (tried to- he was still getting the hang of it) back into the main shop to peer curiously at the boy’s work.

“Why are you making friendship bracelets? Followup question, what’s a friendship bracelet?”

“It’s a bracelet that means we’re going to be best friends forever,” Adam explained patiently, attention still intent on the piles of beads and twine in front of him. “And I’m making them as a way to apologize about the way I acted during the Apocalypse, because I was horrible to them and I need them to understand that I’m really, really sorry.”

“Oh.” Gabriel reached over and toyed with one of the beads spread out on the counter. It looked a little bit like a fly- black, with two white circles on it. He spun it slowly on the countertop, staring thoughtfully at his fingers over the bead.

Adam finally looked up, and pushed a spool of twine toward him with a smile. “You can join me, if you like.”

-/-

Beelzebub sighed when Gabriel burst into her office with a little too much swagger to be natural. She rested her jaw on one fist and gave him a flat look.

“Don’t you  _ knock?” _

“I got you a present.”

She was too stunned to protest when he handed her a velvet box. It was the sort of box that a commendation or a medal might be delivered in, but when she opened it all it held was a tacky plastic bead-bracelet. She took it out and held it up.

“What is it?”

“It’s a friendship bracelet! The letters stand for best fallen fly friend forever.”

It was quite probably the ugliest accessory she’d ever seen- saying something, since she’d been at the forefront of hell’s fashion scene for six thousand years now. The back half was made of alternating black, purple, and red beads; on the top, the letters ‘b f f f f’ adorned several pastel colored beads, interspersed by a selection of plastic flies, each just a little bit different to the others.

“I’m not really a jewelry person,” she said, slipping it onto her wrist. It was too big for her small hands; she glared at it until it knew better than to slip free, and added, “Or a friendship person, for that matter.”

“You don’t have to wear it,” he began, reaching for it, and she batted his hand away.

“No, I’m going to wear it forever, fuck off.”

-/-


	2. Animal Aspects Make Wonderful Accessories

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Why does Gabriel call them best fallen _fly_ friends, though?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know what has been said out-of-canon about the animal aspects but I have my own headcanons which I feel make more sense and so I will be using those, don't @ me I have a permit.

“Do I have to start wearing an animal on my head now?”

Beelzebub didn’t even look up from her phone- she was playing Frogger, or more accurately she was killing Frogger in creative ways, because it was funny, and she didn’t really have the energy to care about what Gabriel was yammering on about. What was he even doing in here anyway? Why had _her_ office become the place to be for him? He had his _own_ office.

“Beez? Hello, hell-to-Beez.”

She buzzed a warning at him. “_What_.”

“You heard me.”

A sigh. “Only if you _wwwant_ to. It’s an option, some of us use it. It.. helpz the pinching.”

“Pinching?”

“From stuffing yourself into a corporation. Doezn’t it pinch?”

“Oh. Is that why? I thought you guys were just really dedicated to the aesthetic.”

“Well, that too.”

“I don’t even know if I have an aspect animal,” he said, moving the conversation on without preamble. “How would I find that out?”

“I dunno, try turning into something and see what happenz, I guess.” She gave the barest twitch of a smile as Frogger was splattered across the concrete mere pixels from victory, and started the level anew.

“Right.” He was silent. “And.. how do I do that?”

Finally she looked up from the game. “You don’t know?”

“I’ve never done it before. Angels don’t have aspect animals.”

“No, but you… turn into things.”

“Consciously, yes. I want to find out what I can do without, you know, going for something specific.”

“Well.” Hmm. Good question. Ah, wait. “You could turn into a bolt of lightning before, right? Just do that now. See what comez out.”

For a long moment, nothing happened, and then quite suddenly where Gabriel had been sitting a swarm of some kind of beetles floated lazily in place. A few tense minutes later, the swarm reformed into Gabriel, who took a few deep, surprised breaths and grinned.

“That was wild.”

“Lightning bugz,” she said, surprised, and Gabriel’s grin grew wider.

“Fireflies!”

“They’re not actually flies, you know.”

“I was thinking of lightning,” he went on, ignoring her. “And bugs. Did I pick them on purpose?”

“Who knowz? There’z not exactly a manual on this sort of thing.”

“So I don’t have to wear a firefly on my head now, right?”

She sighed, and went back to her game, ignoring him once more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -holds up piece of paper that says 'I can do what I want'-


	3. I Will Go And Get Her Pitcher

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gabriel's thing, apparently, is showering his bffff with gifts.
> 
> Crowley's thing, apparently, is fucking with Gabriel.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Done from the prompt on Tumblr, _What would happen if Gabriel gave Beelzebub a pitcher plant because he got confused and thought that FLIES liked CARNIVOROUS PLANTS instead of the other way around?_

Gabriel swaggers into the bookshop and beelines straight for the backroom, where Crowley is on his phone, playing a rather convincing role as an anti-vax mom just to rile up a handful of well-meaning activists on the internet. When Gabriel comes into the room, Crowley gives him an approving nod.

“Went with the swagger after all, huh?”

Gabriel hums an acknowledgement. “You were right, I wasn’t the sauntering type. Listen, you know plants, right?”

Crowley scoffs. “Course I know plants. I’ve been around since the _original_ Garden. I know plants like the back of my own hand.”

“Then tell me what you think of this one,” he says, and takes a potted plant from behind his back and plunks it onto the table.

Crowley sits up, and squints at the plant, turning the pot one way, then another. The plant quivers, somehow sensing that it’s being judged, and tries to look as healthy and beautiful as it possibly can. Finally, Crowley gives a begrudging grunt.

“It’s all right. Not up to the standards that _my_ plants normally live up to, but for _you_ I guess it’s good enough.”

“It’s not for me, it’s for Beelzebub,” Gabriel says, taking the plant back and holding it protectively, shielding it from Crowley’s apparent distaste.

The change that comes over Crowley is almost comical. His eyes widen, his eyebrows climb up to chitchat with his hairline, his jaw gets acquainted with his collarbone, and a slow grin spreads across his face until it almost seems as if he’s going to unhinge his entire jaw in delight.

“You’re giving _that_ to Beelzebub? That plant? Right there?”

“Yes.” Gabriel looks down at it, and then preens proudly. “I picked it out myself.”

“Why? I mean, why this one? Actually, why in general?”

“She’s my friend,” he pouted. “You’re supposed to give your friends presents.”

“Didn’t you already give her a friendship bracelet?”

“Yes, and she loved it.” He holds up the plant. “I picked this one because it attracts flies. The attendant who sold it to me said that it smells good to them, so I thought she might enjoy that more than she’d enjoy lilies or roses or… whatever plants humans give each other.”

“And is that… all the attendant told you about it?”

“Should they have told me something else?”

For a long moment, Crowley seems to be having an internal debate with himself, before he reaches up, slaps himself, and beams. “I think it’s the _perfect_ choice.”

-/-

Twenty four hours later, Gabriel is sitting in his office wondering whether it’s too soon to go see how much Beelzebub likes the pitcher plant he’d left in her office for her as a surprise when he feels a slight change in the air- the sort that accompanies the displacement of several air molecules to accommodate the appearance of an object about the size of, say, a potted pitcher plant- and said pitcher plant lands on his head, shattering and leaving him slightly dazed.

A moment later, a note follows, written on grimy paper with a leaky pen.

_If you want to threaten me, do it to my face, you sorry excuse for a demon prince._

Gabriel stares at it, and wonders why he feels like every good thing in him is being carved out a second time.


	4. Positively Glowing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gabriel gets Crowley to look very closely at his naked body as a favor. No, it's not a seduction attempt.

**** Gabriel found Crowley outside of the bookshop, stroking his car while whispering soft words of praise to it. He cleared his throat, watching amused as Crowley straightened up and then turned to glare at him.

“Would you two like to a little more alone time?” he teased, and got a disgruntled sniff for his trouble.

“We were having some alone time before you turned up. What do you want?”

“I need you to help me out with something.”

Crowley sighed, gave one last longing look at the Bentley, and nodded. “All right, what do you want?”

“I figured out my aspect animal and I need you to help me check my corporation to see if it’s left any physical marks.”

“So you want to take your clothes off while I look at your naked body really closely,” Crowley summed up. “Are you sure you’re not just trying to seduce me again? I already told you, I’m happily married, and also I don’t like you.”

“I’m sure I could change that given half a chance-“ He held up his hands in a placating manner when Crowley hissed a warning at him, “-but no, you and Beez are the only two demons I trust to be near my naked body without taking advantage of the vulnerability, and I'm not asking her.”

“Beez,” Crowley repeated, disbelieving, and, “Well why don’t you ask  _ them, _ then? Why me?”

He looked affronted. “I can’t ask  _ Beelzebub.” _

“Why not?”

“Because it’s…” He shuffled uncomfortably. “You know, it’s embarrassing.”

“Why is it it  _ less _ embarrassing to ask me? Isn’t Beelzebub your bff or something?”

“Bffff,” he corrected, “and of course she is, but that doesn’t mean I can go asking her to look at my naked body like it’s no big deal.”

“You’re asked _me_.”

“Are you going to help or not?”

He sighed. “Yeah, all right, come on.”

-/-

Aziraphale returned home from his errands some undetermined amount of time later to find Crowley and Gabriel in his backroom, Crowley fighting back tears of laughter while a very disgruntled Gabriel put his clothes back on. He pursed his lips.

“Gabriel, hi. Are you trying to seduce my husband again?”

“Of course not, don’t be stupid. He won’t let me.”

“I should think so.” Aziraphale greeted Crowley with a swift peck and a soft smile before snapping his attention back to Gabriel. “So what are you doing, anyway?”

“We were seeing if Gabe’s new aspect animal had any effects on his corporation.”

“Oh, you figured that out! What is it? And did it have any effect on you?”

A scarlet blush was crawling up Gabriel’s neck, and Crowley was having less success fighting down his laughter.

“Go on and tell him,” he said. “You’re gonna love this, angel, it’s hilarious.  _ Go on,” _ he repeated, when Gabriel seemed reluctant.

Gabriel sighed, and after a second of concentration a soft glow filled the area around him— specifically, the area around his posterior. Aziraphale bit his lip, trying to maintain a level of dignity that Crowley refused to.

“Well,” he said, struggling for something to say. The light snapped off. “It might not be the same as glowing with heavenly light—“

“Yeah, I’m out.”

He vanished in a burst of the same soft light, leaving in his wake a cloud of lightning bugs that, slowly, also faded into the aether.

Aziraphale turned to Crowley, who had turned more serious now that Gabriel was gone. “So, did I miss anything else while I was out?”

“Gabe has a crush on Beelzebub.”

“Oh! Good for them. Is he going to act on it?”

** “Angel, he doesn’t even  _ know _ about it.” **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FireChildSlytherin5 made a comment on an earlier chapter about Gabriel's butt glowing and the thought kept coming back to me. Thanks boo


	5. there is no i in team but there's two in building and one in exercise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's time for the company picnic. This is gonna go _great_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> From a prompt by megacinnamonpeaches on Tumblr. Will be a three parter but who knows when I'll write the other two.

-/-

The Fallen gathered in the corridors of hell, pressed entirely too close together and paying rapt attention to their prince, lording over them, their newest prince, looking smug, and a slightly smaller but no less intense amount of attention to the angel tucked off to one side and guarded fiercely by the once-traitor Crowley.

“Creatures of Hell!” Beelzebub called, voice miraculously magnified. “You all know that next month is the Heaven vs Hell company picnic. Now. Last year, we were all robbed of the chance to settle the score with Heaven on the field of battle, but that doesn’t meant that we can’t settle the score on the field of potato sack races, egg and spoon relays, and animal potato races.”

A cheer went up among the Fallen. All of them were looking forward to the chance to stomp their heavenly counterparts at sporting events, which all of them were certain they were assured to do.

Hastur’s hand went up. Beelzebub sighed.

“Yes, Duke Hastur?”

“What’s that angel doing here?”

Beelzebub looked over at Aziraphale, who smiled politely back, and then turned back to Hastur. “He insisted on participating, and our lord approved it. If you want to argue with either of them about the matter, be my guest.”

A murmur went up through the crowd. While some of them knew they had a lot to fear from a sufficiently riled Aziraphale, most felt they could take him if needed- but none fancied the idea of taking on their lord’s temper. The angel would stay without question, then.

“Yeah but why?” Hastur repeated. Okay, some question.

Beelzebub looked to Aziraphale again; he stepped forward, hands folded primly in front of him, and addressed the crowd.

“I suppose that’s a fair question. You see, Crowley and I-” he gestured to Crowley, who was circling behind him, glaring daggers at the assembled in case they got any ideas. “-have been talking about it, and while we are most certainly on our own side in matters of the War- or that is to say, on the side of the earth and humanity- well, it just seems that events like this might be a more peaceful way to settle the score, so we quite approve in the long run. And, of course, there being no War in question in this instance we see no reason to insist on _our own side-”_

“Get on with it, angel,” Crowley said, rolling his eyes.

“-we flipped a coin,” Aziraphale finished lamely.

“If you are _quite_ satisfied,” Beelzebub said, drawing their attention back. “Dagon?”

“Right.” It was Dagon’s turn to speak. “Now. We have a month to prepare, so we’re going to take that time to do some team-building. We’ve scheduled a retreat to a place called Tadfield Manor that comes highly recommended for this sort of thing- run by a Satanist, even- and we’ll be spending a few days there learning to work as a lean, mean, heaven-crushing team! Can I get a wahoo!”

A rousing ‘wahoo’ went up through the crowd. Dagon shot Crowley a smug look, and returned to rousing the troops, so to speak.

**Author's Note:**

> Tumblr @grifalinas. Insert something witty here idk I’m tired.


End file.
